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I remember feeling very excited - and very anxious - about starting school. Unfortunately, on my first day of kindergarten, anxiety won out over excitement. This quote attributed to both Robert Heller and Fritz Perls says, "Fear is excitement without the breath." I definitely forgot to breathe that first day of kindergarten.

It was literally my first day of grad school when I learned that anxiety and excitement are experienced very similarly in the body. Our job is to transform anxiety. How? Breathe to calm the body and nervous system, practice gratitude to open us up to the positive that we have now, and create a new story that opens us up to possibility in the future.

THE "RULES" that calmed my anxiety and guided my excitement in kindergarten were to use the following phrases:


"Thank you"

"I'm sorry"


"Do you want to play with me?"

Those Rules still work today! And they are what help us co-create with others an exciting, intimate relationship!

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